we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
