Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
