He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
