and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize