i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
