just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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