I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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