i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
why do cheetos always look like penises
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize