He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
