why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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