The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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