We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
kristin has been a bad kristin
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
