i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
did i just pee glitter
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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