the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
