He had one of those small greek statue penises
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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