JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
