Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
