you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
