Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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