Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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