Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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