I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
