me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
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I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
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I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize