A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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