Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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