I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
