I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
