Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
