He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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