Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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