hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
