I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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