took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
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For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
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And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low