I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
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I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
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I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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