just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
