I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
