I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
