We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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