I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize