You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
