This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
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I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
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I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
be right there i have to get my cape
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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