wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
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What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
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Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I need a beard to bite.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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