the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
