the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
