i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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