I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
