Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
