College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
