It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
