it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize