Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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