Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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