I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize