Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
