Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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